This Tongue of Ours

What helps us speak and communicate?? The tongue obviously,  but have any of us thought on how exactly we use it ? when to use it and when not to ? well, the answer is no and that’s sad .

this boneless organ called the tongue or “zubaan” in Urdu  helps us to communicate our thoughts. It plays a big role in developing, breaking and maintaining relationships. One can win the hearts of others by just using it to communicate words of care , concern, love and support. Along with all that, the tongue can  also become like a sharp knife that gives far deeper wounds than any weapon. so now most of us would know  that the tongue is a very important muscle and it shouldn’t be  misused.

Now, i come to the point. We speak so much everyday to nearly everyone in our  personal and social circle. Have we ever weighed our words?? Have we ever given a  thought about what we are speaking and how our tone is?? I’ve observed that most of  us just “throw” words at others for the sake of countering them in an argument or  discussion. Even in a normal conversation it seems that we just are speaking for the  sake of speaking without actually caring of the impact of words . Harsh and  spiteful  words spoken in anger or mockery can break hearts and cause  irreparable  damage to  self esteems and overall bonds. We may say “sorry” or don’t really mean  what we say  but the overall impact of harsh or loosely spoken words lasts for a long  time.

Lastly, I want to say that in this age of communication, let’s make our verbal communication meaningful and kind. Lets keep our tongue boneless as it is and not make it into a whip that lashes at everyone on every opportunity it gets.

All that pomp and show

Rehman Ramzan on Express TV

Rehman Ramzan on Express TV

Turn on the TV and flick through the channels during Ramzan and you’ll find Dr. Aamir Liaquat Hussain, Maya Khan, Sahir Lodhi, Junaid Jamshed, Ali Haider and all others conducting elaborate Ramzan transmissions. While wearing expensive clothes and standing on exquisitely designed sets, these individuals “utilize” the air time by helping the poor, giving free gifts and charity, cooking, making others recite Naats or simply  by sitting and talking about how this holy month should be observed with simplicity and piety etc.

Amaan Ramzan on Geo TV

Amaan Ramzan on Geo TV

This whole concept disturbs me . now i’m not judging their imaans and i’m not saying that they’re doing something wrong  by being religious but according to my limited knowledge of Islam, i do think that Islam doesn’t appreciate “glamourising” of good deeds and Pomp and show in the matter of religion is something not appreciated by Allah.

I leave it upto the audience to decide whether these shows actually help them to benefit from the holy month or not.

That Sinking Feeling …..

After watching on YouTube, the leaked video of real estate tycoon Malik Riaz and two anchorpersons Mubashir Lucman and Mehar Bukhari , i felt as if a stone was falling through my stomach. Not because i’m a supporter of Arsalan Iftikhar ( i’m neutral by the way ) but because somehow all the journalists whom i looked up to,  were suddenly “criminals” in my eyes. My mind started playing flashbacks of the time when it was my utmost desire to become like them. I admired Kashif Abbasi‘s guts, Talat Hussain‘s to- the- point questions and Nasim Zehra‘s and Javed Chaudhry‘s intellectual approach and followed the talk shows keenly during the lawyer’s movement for the restoration of independent judiciary.  I always had an admiration for the “professional” and “principled” journalism these journalists and columnists were practicing. however after watching this video, it seemed as if I had been living in a world of illusion for a long time.

While i was feeling low, a thought struck my mind and that was something my mother had told me about Islam when i had expressed my disillusionment with the “religious class” . She said “Saman, don’t judge your religion by its followers, judge it by its principles”  and at that point I said to my self  “Saman, don’t judge your field by its practitioners, judge it by its mission and objectives”  and behold!!  I felt better and far happier than before. Why? because i had applied the same rule about religion to journalism. I reminded myself that i came into this field because i loved it and because i wanted to create positive awareness in society and I must not let myself down just because some journalists decided to go against their principles.

Now, i’m happier and at ease and pray to Allah to keep me on the right track.

Can a piece of paper define who we are ??

Here is an excerpt of my recent conversation with a person who I nameMalik“.

Me: “Yeah but i don’t go looking around at other people’s cars with envy”

Malik :”ALHAMDULLILAH  my father has GLI 2011 model and a cultus”

Me (thinking WTF) :Hahaha, but i never told you about my father’s car till u saw it yourself, Why you telling me now about your cars when I’m not interested?”

Malik: “I’m telling you because i don’t envy anyone’s car”

Now you might guess the direction our conversation was taking and let me clarify that I’m not here to ramble against Malik as i respect his opinions (even if i find them completely illogical) but the reason I’m writing this post is because this conversation forced me to think about the materialism that has permeated   our world and more specifically our society. It seems we give more importance to increasing our status and spending extravagantly on ourselves NOT for ourselves but for the people around us. Isn’t that the case? . Quite often i find girls swinging Prada bags around and shoving them up everyone’s nose (sorry for the rudeness) and boys driving expensive cars and making a point to zoom in high-speed in front of others. And then i think “what’s with these guys?”

All these luxuries, the high status in society and the license to show off is given by a piece of paper that people can kill each other for and that piece of paper as we all know is “money“. It’s true that money gets you status, comfy living, GLI and City 2011 model cars, Cambridge and Oxford shirts and a Blackberry or an I-phone but I’m asking you all that “should we allow money to define our personalities??”, “should we live only for the sake of acquiring a high status in society??”, “Can money replace our interpersonal relationships be it family or friends??”, “Can having money allow us to behave arrogantly and treat other people as if they’re losers??” and above all “can money define who we are ??” after all its just a piece of paper isn’t it?? so i would like to know what you guys think about.

In the end, I’d like to say that Malik !! if you’re reading this, thank you for giving me a whole new perspective to think about.🙂

Sincerity….. A key ingredient to healthy & lasting relationships

Together forever

I used to think that calculus, physics and philosophy were complicated stuff in life  so I turned away from them. Later on, I realized that there are some things in life that we can’t run from no matter how hard we try to and one of these things are relationships. I’m not only referring to the boy-girl flings  that so easily crop up in our mind but I’m also talking about relationships among family, friends, husband and wife, in-laws etc.

Relationships require compassion, concern, compromise, mutual respect, trust but the foundation of all these requirements is SINCERITY. Trust me, sincerity is the key ingredient. you can respect a person but that respect is superficial if you’re not sincere. you can show concern and compromise for a person but that is just an added burden for you if you’re not sincere and I’m of  the opinion that things turn sour and relationships are ruined when there is a serious lack of sincerity (some of you may contradict but after all everyone is free to hold their own opinions.🙂 )

I have formed this opinion after various personal experiences. I have watched people come and go. Some of them stayed long enough for me to get used to them before finally moving away without any reason and that hurt me a lot and forced me to question their sincerity. but in the end I learned a valuable lesson from all this. I have learned to value people who WANT to be with me and who want to maintain a healthy relationship  instead of giving silly excuses and hurting me with mean comments.  Above all , i have learnt to surround myself with positive people who bring out the best in me. Life is too short to fight, life is too short for harboring anger and resentment.

holding hands

Life is all about being in peace with yourself and the world and above all its about being SINCERE to the people who genuinely care for you because that makes life all the more worth living.

In the Closet……

What happens when you open your closet in the middle of the night and find yourself face to face with a medium-sized mouse that is eating its way through everything it can find? Most of you would go screaming the house down and some of you would pick up whatever you find and try to smash the guts out of it,but when it comes to my encounter with this furry innocent eyed creature, I did nothing except to stare at it and it also stared back at me..  for 5 whole minutes we stared at each other…

i don’t know why the mouse was staring at me, maybe it was out of fear, maybe it was a way of mocking me and watching me be helpless, only God knows. but the reason I was staring at this mouse was because i was admiring its guts, i was admiring the fact that this tiny creature whose only “weapon of mass destruction” is its sharp front teeth, can wreak havoc on the belongings of human beings that are much larger and more “intelligent” than it , this tiny creature believes in the strength of its front teeth and 4 tiny legs, it has the courage to come into our closets and  above all it makes human beings fear and acknowledge its presence on the face of the earth. no matter how notorious it is in the eyes of other humans, if you think from this perspective, you may begin to admire the mouse… weird isn’t it? …

Now, just think,  the people including myself who live in third world countries, why are they constantly in fear? why do they need to depend on super powers for every decision whether trivial or major? why can’t the governments of such countries realize that they are ruling  independent, sovereign states and should work for the country’s self-interest rather than the super powers’ never ending demands? or if i say it in other terms, why can’t the mouse show some courage and stand up to the so-called “superior” human beings whose only aim in life is to kill the mouse and keep storing eatables in their closets for their own use? why is the mouse allowing itself to be hunted down and torn apart just because it is much smaller as compared to the human beings  or is not as “capable” ?

Now it is up to the mouse to regain the courage that it has lost, it is up to the mouse to prevent itself from falling into an endless dark abyss,it is up to the mouse to regain its lost glory and to make the humans realize that “size is not a true measure of potential” .  As Mahatma Gandhi said,

” A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history” .  

I hope that I have conveyed the idea of today’s blog post. As for the mouse I faced in the closet, after staring at it, I waved my hands at it and shoo-ed it away. Thank fully, it didn’t do much damage and it also gave me something to think about.